Muddyfunkster: A Word to the Unwise

Just over a year ago, my lovely little Volkswagen Polo Coupe GT was written off, these things happen - I accepted it and moved on. The DVLA, on the other hand, were obviously rather more attached to the silver bullet than I was (God rest it’s shiny alloys). I got a letter the other day asking me to tax it or declare it off road. I couldn’t find a box on the document to tick to tell them that the only way the car would be on the road again was if it was turned into hundreds of baked bean cans and driven to Sainsbury’s in the back of a van. And so started the online paper trail trying to find how to declare the car was scrapped (which I thought I had a year ago). Turns out I filled out a V11 when I should have filled out part of my V5, given the other part to the scrappy, filled out a V890, gone into the woods at midnight, buried all my tax and insurance documents and sacrifice a goat to the Gods of Vehicle Licensing and Registration. So I’m going to pop into my local friendly branch of the DVLA tomorrow to plead for an end to needless bureaucracy, or at least to try and stop them harassing me over a car that hasn’t got wheels let alone need taxed.