Muddyfunkster: A Word to the Unwise

Thankfully my team (Newcastle United) ended their run of bad form last night with a 4-0 win against Sochaux, a team I’d never heard of but one which seems to be doing very well in France – an unbeaten in European competition since 1976! Apparently the town is practically owned by Peugeot, they have a plant there and actually own 99% of the football team. They beat Monaco at the weekend and going into the match Graeme Souness (our manager) admitted he’d have been happy with a draw. But fate dealt us a different hand, Given made 3 spectacular saves in the first 30 minutes and then Bowyer netted against the run of play – knocking the stuffing out of the French side and setting up a huge win, largely against the initial run of play. After the first goal Sochaux battled hard but created little and after the second goal went in (40 secs into the second half) they sadly lost faith. However, all was not lost. The referee had an abysmal night, his judgment of free kicks was a testimony to video referees, and so a penalty was eventually awarded to Sochaux. The French side sold their regular penalty taker to Leon and have struggled to find a replacement, Mathieu showed himself not to be the heir as he scuffed his shot wide. A fantastic pass from Dyer split the defense for Hughes to pass to Bellamy to make it 3-0, and an awe inspiring free kick from substitute and fellow Frenchman Robert moments from time sealed the victory. The win equals the European record the team set the year we won the European Fairs Cup in 1968-69, although I doubt we’ll go on to win this competition.

Incidentally, for those more interested in what’s happening in that there jungle, Ant and Dec bought the rights to show the match in Australia just so that they could catch their team in such a crucial game. No one was showing it live over there, so they had to buy the entire commercial rights themselves, it cost them altogether £420 – so that’s £210 each! Not bad if they’d been able to sell it to the local pubs.....